The Mental Battle of Improving at your Craft

So recently I’ve been though a long hiatus from anything to do with audio design. The last time I properly did something was June. It’s now November and I have yet to make any sounds since then.

So what’s the reason for that ??

Well….. I gave up.

Yes that’s right. I told myself I didn’t want to do audio design anymore. This dream I’ve had that has been one of the main things keeping my going I was going to stop doing it forever. Now what are the reasons for this you may ask well let’s get into it.

• Difficulty of change — I personally and I know alot of people find it hard to change. Sometimes the way we are use to doing things is very much ingrained and this makes it hard to achieve something more and new. I am currently use to having a schedule where I work, come home, do chores and dinner and relax the rest of the time and on weekends relaxing as well. However to develop my sound design skills I must put in the time to otherwise I stay the same. Also the very challenge of improving my skills is difficult. It seems hard to go from where I am now to where I want to be and the worse thing is I want to be at that higher place now. So that brings me to me next point.
• The slowness of real progress — alluding to my last point real change is gradual. You doesn’t go from 0 to 100 immediately you have to go 1 step at a time , 0,1,2 and so forth. To further this change and improvement is not smooth either. Sometimes you get to say 50 out of that 100 and drop back to 30. Honing your craft is not a straight line it’s not linear. It’s a lot of peaks and troughs. Highs and lows and then higher highs and sometimes lower lows. It is this unexpected pattern that can sometimes stagger us mentally and make us think of giving up.
• The uncertainty of life-

The thing about working at something especially artistic endeavours is there is alot of uncertainty. Not knowing how much we can progress, not knowing if there is any opportunity to use our craft when we do sharpen our skills is very challenging to deal with. This puts doubt into whether we should actually be putting the time in when no noticeable progress is seen. It almost feels futile.

• The competitiveness of creative industries —

Nowadays more than ever there are alot more opportunities for artists in different fields to make a living. However this is dwarfed by the insurmountable amount of people who are now trying to pursue artistic careers. Thus results in 100s of people going for the same position, which means the odds are high.

• The struggle and effort of development — The thing is putting in the work is hard. Sometimes we’ll have puzzles we don’t know the answer to. Or things just don’t come together like we imagine. Or those tedious tasks which any artistic endeavour has.
• The time it takes — when getting better at anything, a considerable amount of time needs to be put in ,in order to see any results. Sometimes it can be difficult to find that time, especially if we already have a full-time time engagement. It’s like trying to find time for two , ives but we only have one. This is difficult but not impossible.

Those have been my issues really. So you may be wondering why am I getting back into things. Why did I decide this wasn’t the end. Well a couple things for this as well.

• Is it worth it — I love game audio. I love creating sounds and composing music and I think it will be well worth it to have a position doing what I love. No matter how long it takes. I feel like nothing thst it is really worth it is easy. Sometimes the difficulty endured makes the end result more worthwhile than if nothing was put into it.
• The uncertainty of life — I don’t know if I will make it. I don’t know where I’ll end up however I know if I give up I am guaranteeing that I will never find out how far I could have taken it. I would never know what I could actually have achieved if I stuck to it.
• The feeling of purpose — again I love audio and I feel like without doing it in some capacity I don’t think my life would be the same. I would have nothing to look forward to. Yes life might be good if I just continued with my current full time but it wouldn’t be the life I would really want.

So after all that I’m kind of back where I started; pursuing this thing I love called game audio. Now I don’t ever want to even face the decision of giving up again because going between decisions is an incredible waste of time and energy and only acts as a delay and distraction from the focused mindset I need to be in to acheive my goal. So how will I prevent it from happening again.

I will aim to:

• Keep the fire burning — continuously find ways to inspire and find intrigue within this world. I’ll soak up knowledge and find wonder in the audio of great works and use that push me to continue creating. Find new things and information about this art to love and learn.
• Remind myself — I need to keep remembering the reasons for doing this and take them everywhere I go. Whenever I feel like I shouldn’t be doing it this I need show myself thst this is what I want and why.
• Surround myself — I feel like getting involved with more game audio communities will help me as I’ll meet like minded people who have the same goals I do or are working towards the same things. This sense of community will keep me on track and remind me. In addition having mentors who can support, encourage and advise me are invaluable and can open up possibilities and perspectives which I never even thought of.
• Look back to look forward — I need to recognise how far I’ve come. Though I’m not where I want to be I am very far from where I started. The difference in my work, even in the way I approached my work my processes are leaps and bounds better than what they use to be.
• Focus on the process and not just the result — sometimes the important this is that you’ve made improvements and learned along the way not just the final product. It all feeds into something later but enjoying the whole process makes the whole development process better.

So I urge you if you have a dream/passion/goal that you want to give up pursuing or have even given up remember this article and try to reconsider. Pursuits of goals especially artistic ones can be a heavy mental battle. But it’s a battle you want to fight and win. So

Keep Pushing